Acting blog, B.A.B.E. blog
HELP, I need somebody
I asked for help just the other day. I was stuck. I was at a cross roads with what I wanted to do with my career. I didn’t have a clue what to do next and I felt like it was stopping me from doing anything. Flailing around and pretending I didn’t care worked for a few days, but then the price of flights went up and I realised it is going to hurt my bank account. The other thing it has been doing is holding me back from the now. I’m out here in the world still trying to have a life, trying to date, and trying to be Angela the person, not just Angela the actor. That acting thing can’t define me. I want to be more than that! While I am busy pretending I don’t really care about the ‘outcome’ I am advancing nowhere at a rapid rate. I’m literally in a void.
So I sat down and asked a friend about it. I put out to the world what I really wanted (about love, life, and location) – and trust me, that was hard. I was admitting things I didn’t want to say out loud. I shared with her what it all meant and what I was afraid of. She didn’t try and sort it out for me, she just sat there while I shared and offered the appropriate insights at the right times. Most of all, she was a listening ear. And you know what she did right back at me. She shared too. She sat there and talked about where she was right now, and what was going on for her. And suddenly I didn’t feel like such a dufus (Aussie word for fool).
And I went straight home and I made a plan with myself about what I needed to do. And that night I worked so hard tapping away at my computer on a some specific things I’d been putting off, you’d think I was a secretary in a night job. Proactivity again. Wow it felt good.
And now I love where I’m at. I’m passionate about my new plan and I’m letting myself off a little. And I’ve embraced the idea of asking for help again if I have to. It felt so good! I don’t need to beat myself up, because I am working on my new goal one step at a time, and that is okay! I am okay.
And so I came up with how I now want HELP to be known for me.
Heal
Embrace
Love, and
Passion
Maybe for you it’s about money and you are struggling but you don’t want to ask anyone for a loan. Maybe it is about a job you need to get but you’re afraid to say you’re jobless. Maybe it’s about a lover who you shouldn’t be with. Where are you at? Are you giving yourself a mental beating about something and not giving yourself any reprieve? Have you considered talking to someone and asking for help? Always here if you want to share. You’re a B.A.B.E.
P.s. sometimes you can even get help from the big guns…the ones trained to assist. You can find out what I’m talking about here.
Great post. Sometimes, as an artist in an industry with no cut-and-dry solution for success, it can be really overwhelming to distinguish what you really want.
I was touched when you said that it was hard to express what you really wanted, they were things that maybe you didn't want to admit. I feel the same way, when I think about it! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Allison! It really was hard to say and share but it felt so much better once I had. And I feel so much more authentic. And I am really thankful that I have a network of friends who offer me so much love and support.
Thanks for sharing, great post!
I feel that I am taking a risk every time I am trying to talk to any friend of mine about the career choice that I've made. It seems that all of them are just waiting for a chance to talk me out of it, therefore I just keep everything within me – let's see how long that will last 🙂 You're lucky you've got a good friend like her that can give something back!
Probably most of actors get into the situation you were (are?) in this time in your life, and not just once. Great job on picking yourself up, looking forward to an update of what is happening next then.
Best of luck!