36. Finding the fun
One thing I never really talk about is just how funny auditions can be. Sometimes you literally leave a room shaking your head and thinking “FML, did I really just do that!” And the answer is “yes, yes you did”.
So this week, with it being a New Year and vowing to make great changes and advancements in my career, and in the spirit of not taking ourselves too seriously (I mean it is just acting after all – it’s make believe) I’ve included a few funny moments from auditions over the years as an actor. I hope you enjoy them. And I would love you to share any special, hilarious or awkward moments that you know others might appreciate…
My top four choices for your entertainment and amusement:
4. Imagine walking into a room and being asked to take all your clothes off, and leave only your pants on (and I mean your underewear/undies/duds, knickers…not trousers). You awkwardly strip down to your undies and hope you look alright. Then the Casting Director gets you to roll all over the floor, then stand and stretch up to the ceiling and then back on the floor. A little more frolicking on the dirty carpet and you’re done. That was for a legit major French brand at a reputable London acting studio. Yep!
But I did have a moment where I wondered who was actually going to see those casting videos. Eek.
3. I once saw an audition notice that didn’t really sound like me. I decided not to put myself forward for it. Fast forward a few days and my lovely flatmate has told a Casting Director friend about me and I’ve been invited in for an audition with them. It turns out it was the same audition I hadn’t put myself forward for earlier that week. Oh well, I think to myself, how bad could it be. So I walked into the audition room to see three CD’s sitting like panelists at X Factor. I’m given a condom and a huge bratwurst German sausage. I was then asked to put the condom on the sausage and blow the sausage like I am having the very best time I have ever had. Because, sure….girls really love doing that. I should also point out that at the same time there is a girl at the other end of the bratwurst also doing the same thing from the other end. What would my mother say!! And it was a legitimate online advertisement being shot. Wonder who the lucky girl was that was cast in that one.
2. I do remember auditioning for a furniture advert once here in London where I had to squeal (read that as sound like I’m climaxing) every time I saw another piece of furniture. All this had to be done while saddling my best mate – a fellow actor – who would always do auditions with me when we were required to “play the couple”. And I was only asked in my lunch break to audition so I was wearing a pencil skirt that day. Ahhhh the joys. Furniture has never turned me on so much (I’m joking!).
And here is my number 1 favourite to start the new year, which fortunately is not mine. But it is such a hilarious audition….
1. I don’t even need to explain. Once you see this you’ll get it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZDoYz773r4
This week, B.A.B.E. readers, I’d love to hear your funny stories and moments in the casting room. Happy 2012.